I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
