Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
