sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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