Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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