just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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