Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
