I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
His hands were made for my vagina.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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