Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
