at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize