Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize