Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
