yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
