I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
