I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
