I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
