Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
