Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize