I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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