Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
