I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The best revenge is premature balding
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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