Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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