i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
