WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
