Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
