Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
