I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
3pm strippers are depressing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
