What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
