Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
