I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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