Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
