i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
