I cockslap morals
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
