I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
