Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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