Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
