Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
