he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
did i walk over a car last night?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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