well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
