Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
