I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
