3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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