I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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