If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize