Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
