Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
