sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
