I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I look better un-naked...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
