I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
