is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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