what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize