i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
