also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
