You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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