Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
