I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
