doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
