He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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