We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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