and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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