Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
