I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
