I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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