i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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