we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
