Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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