Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
