Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
